Do Everyone a Favor, and Tidy Up!

Many years ago, when my favorite aunt died, my parents – as the geographically closest siblings – took charge of cleaning out her house, and distributing her furniture and other household goods to her many nieces and nephews.  They discovered that the den and basement were full of “stuff” – old newspapers, memorabilia, files about her many interests – and bags of unopened mail!  Apparently, in addition to never throwing anything away, my aunt had latterly been unable to cope with the daily influx of mail and all of the decisions that demanded.  What a mess!  Unpaid bills, yes, but also undeposited checks – many outdated.

About 5 years ago, my parents acknowledged that Dad, who had had a number of strokes, could no longer cope with living in a 2-story house – even a chair lift was insufficient.  So, they decided to sell their beautiful home, and move to a condo.  My mother, then a feisty 87-year-old, was able to take charge of sorting and clearing the house, mustering a veritable army of helpers – including me.  Since I live 600 miles away, I was able to visit only once / month.  My task, then, was going through cartons of “stuff,” to determine what was still of value to us, and what could be thrown out or given away.  Guess what?  Some of those cartons contained my aunt’s papers and photos – still hanging around, after 20 years.  Of course, there were also cartons of items from my parents’ life together – and some of my own souvenirs and clippings.

Time passed faster than I could complete the sorting during my once / month forays to the North, so a number of these cartons found their way to the storage room at the condo.  My father died last year.  This year, Mother found that she could no longer cope with the condo and making meals, and chose to move to a retirement home, where she would have a large measure of independence, but others would make the meals.  Last Spring, then, I found myself faced with some of those same cartons.  I made more progress on the cartons, this time, but could not get to the drawers and shelves, which my mother – legally blind from macular degeneration – was now unable to address, herself.

The move from the condo to the retirement home was complex, involving 5 different moves:  most to the retirement home, a lot to me in New Jersey, some to a neighboring city for nieces and great-nieces, some to the Salvation Army, and some to the dump.  A wonderful moving planner, who specializes in the needs of the elderly, organized everything for us.  Nevertheless, a lot of Mother’s household belongings that she no longer had space for, were moved with her.  And so, the sorting and tossing has continued, once / month, ever since.

Through all of this year’s moving stresses, I have been thinking of the first piece of advice we give our sellers: get rid of everything you no longer need, and don’t plan to take with you.  In other words, “tidy up” and de-clutter your house, so that it looks more spacious to potential buyers.  It’s difficult advice for many people to take, because it involves a lot of decision-making and sheer labor.  Ultimately, however, making that effort leads to an earlier sale and a much smoother move.

Look around your own home.  How much of that advice should you be taking, yourself?  Even if you don’t plan to move in the near future, consider the challenges you will face when you do have to move – and are just that much older, with that much more “stuff” to deal with.  Suppose a calamity should strike – as they do, far too often – and you are unable to make those decisions, yourself.  Who will be left to cope with your collection of memorabilia and “stuff”?  Your children?  Your grand-children?  A disinterested estate agent?

And so, I recommend that each of us tackle one room each month, and clear it out.  Our homes will look better, we will have a sense of accomplishment, and our families will bless us!  I plan to take my own advice.